the Gate
by Gender Outlaw
Summary: Naruto goes to Soul Society, alone. 'You are standing before the gates of hell, because you have nothing else to do.'


1.

It is years before anyone first really notices you.

You have just finished the academy, and are taken to Captain Unohana. There is no one else there but you two, you are not important enough to warrant other attention.

_"Welcome to the Fourth, Naruto"_ she tells you. _"We specialize in healing and I think you could have a talent for it, given time."_ She is soft looking, like a mother.

She stares down at you, kneeling before her, as if waiting for you to speak.

You only nod quietly.

**2.**

The vice-captain, Kotesu Isane, does not seem to like you.

She teaches you without hesitation, showing you different techniques and then leaving you to finish the rest of the learning on your own. As all your teachers have done.

But when you bow to her and go to leave the room, you can feel her eyes lingering on you.

Your silence unnerves her.

**3.**

You have no way of knowing whether or not your captain talks about you, but you wouldn't be too amazed to find out that she doesn't, not really.

Hanataro is leaving again for the living world, and you hear them say their goodbyes as you walk along outside the building.

His voice fills the air with cheer, and you don't have to see it to know Captain Unohana is smiling at him.

You can catch one lingering comment after Hanataro's quick steps have darted away, as Isane muses. _"That boy, Naruto. He doesn't really talk much, does he?"_

The Captain makes a soft sound of agreement.

**4.**

There has been a brawl in the streets, you aren't sure what started it all. But there's several members from the Eleventh division and Renji, along with who must have been just caught in the backlash, all in the Fourth today.

The beds are crowded and you're waved offhandedly to the Sixth's vice captain.

_"Move," _Renji swears at you, struggling to get off the mattress even he stains the sheets red.

You push him back down, lightly, at his shoulder, and he glares at you. Shoves you away.

_"I don't need you,"_ he says. _"I can take care of myself."_

You try again, the healing energy lingering at your fingertips, but then let him go. The rejection causing you to think the words that never make it to your mouth.

_But we're the same, aren't we? Our hearts are human._

**5.**

Yumichika is lying on another bed, with Ikkaku standing next to him, teasing him.

_"Don't mess up my hair!" _Yumichika pleads as you pull up a stool beside him to work.

Your silence seems to give Ikkaku pause but you had not been listening to what the man told you. Yumichika gets rattled at something that was said and starts arguing with him.

You can feel the soft blue energy moving through you, as you call it to your hands, pressing your fingers over your patients heart and listening to the body.

There is a murmur in the rhythm of blood, and you tilt your head, listening the harder, even as you force some of the lesser wounds to close.

_"Hey!"_your patient protests as you hand follows the murmur down his chest to his hip. _"I wasn't cut there!"_

He tries to sit up as you pull back the fabric covering his side and stomach, pushing your hands away even as you push back. _"You're pretty and all but you're not my type!"_ Stopping suddenly when the thick black material uncovers an angry red spot that looks ugly.

The is no cut in the skin, but the flesh is distorted and discolored.

_"The blood vessels have burst." _Isane says over your shoulder, startling you. You did not know she was there behind you.

_"Let me handle this,"_ she says. She pulls you up and grabs the stool when you are forced out of it.

**6.**

You are standing before the gates of hell, because you have nothing else to do.

The world is quiet all around you, and you are alone. You feel a soft longing to go further, a faint hunger that wants to walk through the gate and find what lies behind.

You know you are empty, but for the life of you you can't remember what is missing.

**7.**

_"Thank you," _Yumichika says to you, when you begin to walk past him months later.

_"I'm sure someone would have found it eventually,"_ he says. _"But thank you for finding it all the same."_

He seems to be thinking on something, staring at you as he waits. But when he asks if you drink, you just shake your head and keep moving.

**8.**

You want to know what's on the other side of the gate.

It haunts your dreams when you sleep until you can see those thick bars everywhere you go. You reach out to touch what looks like cold brass when a harsh voice shouts from behind you.

_"Leave it alone!"_ A man runs up from behind you to grab you and shove you away.

_"You don't belong here!"_ He yells, hand on his sword as your eyes stay fixed to the gate behind him. _"Go back to where you belong."_

He scowls at you when you don't move and pulls grips his blade tighter, half pulling it out.

The klink of moving metal wakes you, and you turn to him, then bow. His glare follows you even as you leave.

**9.**

Nightmares wake you every night, leaving you staring blankly at the ceiling, unsettled and confused.

Try as you might, you just can't figure out what it is you lost.

* * *

_the larkspur all bunched together at the gate,  
their pastels milling around that  
red bride  
as she opened her nine hearts,  
and you stood there thinking, Who  
would choose me?  
when the day had already chosen-_

- Sumer Is Icumen In, Dana Levin


End file.
